January 27th, 2017 / Day one of fast

Yeah, so, I am fasting.

Yes, fasting, as in not eating.

No, it is not because that “dude is totally hardcore, man, in his spiritual journey and pursuit”!  Honestly it is more involuntary than voluntary.

So, last week, I spent the last of my money on the food that would be my one meal a day for the the past week… which pretty much just consisted of my normal breakfast (minus the glass of juice) – a bowl of raisin bran, and cinnamon raisin bagel… that was my sole meal for the past week… leaving me with 55¢ to my name.

As I wrote recently, I over spent just a hair more than I should have, on those close to me whilst back home during my Thanksgiving refresh, leaving me to then fall short on funds, by a (hopefully) couple weeks, before it would be replenished by my tax refund.

Being that I am out here in Slab land, there are no temp jobs, or even real jobs, for one to employ themselves in and with, within like an hour’s drive.  So, that meant to fill the void between funds running out, and funds coming in from the tax refund, that I would have to pawn or sell something.  Okay, no problem… not like it’s something I have never had to do before.

A few weeks back, when I saw that this would be coming, I did a quick Google search of pawn stores near me, and found three listed, but they were in the larger town of Brawley, where it is that I go to do my bi-monthly grocery shopping… cool, will work out fine… when need to, will go pawn whatever item of value of mine I decide to sacrifice and give up for the period of time.  And then, in my usual ‘cross that bridge when I come to it’ mentality, I really didn’t think again of it, until the time that I needed to do so.

Which was yesterday.  So, after I woke up and was lying there, knowing that either that day, or tomorrow, I would have to do the deed and go pawn something of value o’ mine… and was shooting to do it today, just to give me as little of a timeframe between having pawned the item, and when my tax refund would arrive, so as to get it back.

So, lying there yesterday morning, figuring first thing this morning I head down to Brawley, twenty miles away, I should first pick one of the pawn shops that looks the less seediest, and the directions to it, so as to be able to go straight to it, and not waste the very little gas that is left in Burgey (my van/home), driving all around trying to find it… as well as was hoping that Burgey had enough gas to get me down there, and if he does, it would be on fumes.   That last fifty-five cents to my name, I had planned on putting gas into Burgey last week, the whole fraction of a gallon that would have gotten me, but maybe would have been that little extra that may have been all that was needed to insure I made it down to Brawley.  Well, the gas station that I went to, that had the cheapest gas, only took debit cards at the pump (which is fine, it’s what I have), but charged a thirty-five cent fee on them… oh well now shit!  So, that derailed giving Burgey a tiny taste of fuel.

Anyway, in yesterday morning’s looking up of which pawn shop to head directly to this morning, I discovered that in my initial quick check of pawn shops a few weeks earlier, that I really didn’t pay too close of attention, as the three pawn shops are not in Brawley, but rather in that city that is an hour away.  Fuck me!  There is no way Burgey will make it all the way that far, especially when I was hoping that he would only make it Brawley twenty minutes away.

So, thus came my voluntary decision to involuntarily fast until my tax refund arrived.

Truly, if I did not have to, I would not.  But, seeing as I have to, I am going to.

It’s not like I have never fasted before either, as I have, sixty days total of having gone without eating.  Not consecutively, obviously… and almost the majority of all of them were done a quarter century ago…  Huh, seems like everything I bring up recently, just happened to be from a quarter century ago.

I can’t recall which year it was, and don’t have my handwritten journals with me to check, but either it was my twentieth, or twenty-first year of life, one day, each week (believe it was wednesday), I voluntarily abstained from food, and fasted for that whole day.  Why?  To keep me humble.  To help me recognize my blessings, and what it is that I do have, by giving myself a taste of what it’s like for those who aren’t as fortunate as I, and have to go without.  I have always been this way that I am… and why I sometimes feel the need to point out, that even though I may be in the throes of me only thinking of me, what to do with me, blah, blah, blah the whole shebang, that I never ever really totally am, and hold very dear and true to me – perspective, that I am not the only one in this here life/world, that there are others, and that whatever it is I may be going through, I know that there are others who are going through a lot worse, so shut up, and put up, Jeff.

So, that whole 20th, or 21st, year of my life, every wednesday, I didn’t eat all day.  And this was also back when I was still a full blown Catholic boy, and during the last days of Lent before Easter, my ‘Last Supper’ was the thursday before Easter Sunday, and didn’t eat friday, saturday, and not until after Easter service on sunday morning.

So, that is the longest I have fasted consecutively, three days… so, right now, know I can at least last that long, as I know I already have… albeit a quarter century ago when I did so… but, that has nothing to do with anything.

Right now, as I type, I have already gone over one full day without any food.  I know this will be a challenge though, as I know it will be longer than three days this time… in my optimistic head, hoping and thinking that it will be around seven days… will see.

Three days ago, on monday, I completed, and filed my taxes, and both (federal and state) have already been accepted, so now is just a matter of waiting for the refund to be directly deposited into my bank account.  And if I remember right (which is, of course, suspect with me and my memory!), it’s usually been seven to ten days before the refund arrived, after it has been accepted.  So, federal was accepted monday, three days ago, so hoping that my memory serves me right, as well as Trump having not fucked up the gov’ment yet, out there in the real world since I’ve been here, as he’s now in Office, that would somehow delay and postpone things… but, should be receiving the federal refund sometime between this coming monday, and a week from today.

Refund Status

I will be checking this daily… and will be ever so joyous when I see it has moved from the first marker to the second of refund having been approved!  If it’s not to that point by like next wednesday, then I will not be pushing it with myself and the whole fasting thing, and will become a beggar and seek out food and sustenance.

Ghandi, for his last fast, did so for twenty-one days straight, and he was older than I am now when he did that… but, I am not Ghandi.  Naturally, me being me, I hopped on the good ol’ internet on my phone yesterday morning (already eating up nearly half of my monthly allotment of data within four days of starting it!), when the reality of my going to be fasting set in, to see just how long the body can go without consuming food.  The body is resilient, and can adapt and adjust itself for extreme situations… but seems after around three or four days, of no external food and energy being consumed into the body, the body then begins to consume itself, in trying to find the energy it needs in order to continue functioning.

My Sustenance

That is what I will be living off of, consuming each day, for at least the next week – three cups of tea, and a tablespoon of honey, as that is all I have food related.

The body is more adaptable and resilient with lack of food, however, as our bodies are about sixty percent water, it’s not as forgiving, or enduring without fluid consumption.  Three cups of water(tea) a day is going to be pushing it, as that is only around a third of the recommended amount one should drink within a normal day, that also consists of consuming food… but, the water I just happened to have left at this point and time, rations out to about twenty-four ounces a day, to stretch it out to make it seven days… will see.

I am not doing this for any glory, or attention, so am not going to push me and my body too far past that seven day mark, that I am again optimistically hoping I will receive my tax refund by… again, if not received by then, and looks like it will be longer, than I will succumb to whatever form of begging I can for food and/or water.  Though, have also researched the drinking of one’s own urine… that will be an absolute last resort if need be.

I could probably forego the fasting now, or reduce it, by doing the begging now… but, as I have said before, I believe everything happens for a reason, that there is a purpose behind everything, and my having now to be in this situation, with this option before me, I am not one to shy away from a challenge, for being responsible for the choices I have made, that have brought me here, and so must live the consequences.

I am sure I will be fine.  What I will be doing is not a far-flung thing that has never been done before, I will be alright, and get through it, and frankly, will be proud of myself afterwards for having the discipline to have endured the coming week…  but, as I said, if it looks like it will stretch beyond the coming week, well then I will be whistling a different tune, and will suck dick for food… okay, won’t do that, but will swallow my pride and send my fiercely independent self-reliant self, seeking some assistance, as I don’t want to do any possible longterm ill effects to myself neither.

So, um, yeah… there you go.

I’m thinking of doing a Daily Notebook chronicle of each day… will see… and if I do, it won’t be posted until afterwards, not same day, as again, I am not doing this as a stunt, or draw attention to it, and me… it’s just something that I am faced with doing, and will possibly document each day, and post those after it’s all over… who knows.

Do know, it will just be looong days ahead… since I will have to do as little as physically possible so as to conserve as much calories and energy, and expel as near little as possible.  I will continue to be doing a daily yoga class that I started last week, as I feel that will help me through the coming week, in that yoga itself is practice to help discipline the mind and body, to help control it.

I certainly will be losing some weight!  More than I already have, and be a literal stick figure when this is all said and done… but, is alright, it’s weight, and it can be gained back, and have no doubt that I will.

So… yeah.

To all fellow travelers out there, don’t shy away from the hard paths, they are what define us, make us… each tough choice and endurance, like a chisel that helps create and make us into the person we strive to be, the best person that we can be.  Godspeed, my friends, and see you on the flip side.

January 27th, 2017 / Day two of fast

Refund Status II

Sweet home Alabama!  Was ever so pleased to see this when I checked the status of my federal return this morning!  Yes!  Woo-hoo!  And a great big happy dance!

Even more so, as I was up at the very crack of dawn this morning, to try and do this photo I had in mind to be the cover photo for yesterday’s entry… which I was then going to publish today… but, decided to, as I was pondering yesterday, to in the end, not let all of this be known until after the fact… so, will just post all these entries next week, on the flip side, all at once.

Like my whole fasting thing came to be, is really how the post-posting of this all was decided upon too – because of things not working out as planned and thought.

As I said, was up before dawn this morning to do this shot I had in mind to go with yesterday’s entry introduction to my whole fasting, was a shot from the hot pool.  Just had in mind an image of me standing in the hot pool, with the steam of it rising in the cool morning air, to denote the fires that we sometimes must go through, kind of thing.

Yeah, well…  First off, I chose to do it pre-dawn, because I thought that would be before any Slabbers would be up and at ’em, and no one would be there… yeah, no.  There was like a whole clan of revelers who apparently had been going all night, hanging out still around it… as well, as I guess there are several people who choose to do a nice hot pool soak to start the day off (which is understandable… as I said when doing it all the way back in Thermopolis, Wyoming, if I was living there, I would probably do it).  Plus, there was hardly any steam coming off the hot pool this morning… unlike tuesday night where it was thick and heavy… who knows.

So, anyway, the shot was a no-go.  And because of that, and then having no cover photo for what I wrote yesterday, said heck with it, I’ll just post these all when it’s done.

Which again, thankfully, looks like it will be next monday or tuesday.  Rock on!

So, two days without eating anything besides a tablespoon of honey, I am still doin’ alright and fine really.  Hungry, naturally and obviously of course, but other than that, been physically feelin’ okay and doin’ alright.

Have noticed one thing, and really noticed this last week when I was only eating one meal a day, in that I do get chilly a lot easier, without my normal high metabolism body kickin’ out it’s normal BTUs of body heat.  Which also has coincided with temps being a little on the chilly side here too… of course this is southern Cal desert chilly – temps in the upper 50’s, low 60’s, with overnight temps in the low 40’s.

Today though, sweet bejeebus!  Got my introduction into southern California Santa Ana Winds!  Quite the blustery mother fucker they are.  And straight out of the north.  Glad to say though that camp v3.0 is withstanding it all like a trooper!  Have had to go every hour and re-pound tie-downs to keep everything secure, but other than that, holdin’ strong.  Though the canopy is most definitely getting a workout!  Think one thing I did today that has made it so, is on the south side, I tethered the canopy to Burgey for some not-goin’-anywhere support… and really believe that is what has made the difference, and if I hadn’t, the whole thing would have been gone early this morning.

Other than that, started to work on a photo I thought of taking a couple weeks back when I made a similar type of photo, and since I was already out and about this morning, as well as in the area of what it was I wanted to photograph, figured I would shoot that one… so worked on that, until Mac here ran low on power and needed to be charged by my solar power supply.

While it was doing that, I pulled out the ol’ map to see where I may head from here when I leave.  Am thinking, I’ll just head north into northern California… route I will take, I only know the very immediate – going up not too far from here, to the Joshua Tree National Monument… and then from there, don’t know.  There is ample places I would like to drive to and see… but, Californ i a is quite the large state, and I don’t want to blow my incoming funds by just galavanting around it, even though that would be neat.  But will, someway to be determined, head to the northern California coastal area, and check out the area there, and spend time there… until from there, heading back to the area of the home of my youth in May.

Okay, so guess that is it for Day Two of The Fast.

January 28th, 2017 / Day three of fast

This Is The Life

That was a shot I took last week, I think, through one of my windows from inside the van, of a young lady’s camp over yonder, as I noticed that she had the great backdrop there from my perspective… finally got around to workin’ on it today to pass time.

So, as of now, have equalled, and surpassed the prior consecutive amount of days that I have gone without eating.  Still doing okay.  Though, do notice a drop-off in energy level, which is both understandable and perfectly alright, as I know I need to conserve as much as possible to get me through the coming two or three days more.

Seriously am kinda glad that my body is stepping up in making me slow down, as I really haven’t been doing anything different, activity wise, the past couple days, aside from not doing my usual daily walk… and because of the crazy blustery Santa Ana winds blowin’ like a banshee yesterday, the yoga class was never held, as it is done outdoors at The Range… and was not done today either, as people are doing a little swap meet thing there today.  But, even though I know I should be doing as little as possible to be able to have the endurance to continue this until next monday or tuesday, I just haven’t, because I am bloody me.

Out battlin’ the Santa Ana winds yesterday too, reinforcing the canopy, tie-downs, did notice I would get light-headed when I would stand back up… have noticed that wooziness a bit more… so, am trying my best to chill-ax and take it easy… especially since here on out, is when it will most likely become more and more of a challenge.

Have noticed an internal imbalance too… things just feelin’ a little off-kilter… but again, pretty much am doin’ okay and alright.

And as for my attitude, I really am doing even better!  Honestly, after that little twist of thought had earlier this week, or last (I really have no idea any more of anything time related), where I am just more focused upon living the moment, being in the Now, I honest to goodness have been incredibly lighter and happier in spirit!  Really has had a positive effect on me, my attitude, outlook, way I handle things.

So, guess I could say that this little trek here in the desert, has indeed turned out fruitful, and have gained a better way to be and live, much as I keep comparing to my time doing so in Phoenix a quarter century ago… where too, just a simple little turn of thought, question to myself, led me to abandon and change my whole religious/spiritual belief, that has forever changed me, who I am.  So thus, I believe, has this notion of finally accepting and living in the now… will create, and show me different and new paths, that beforehand, I may not have been more aware and conscious of.

So, guess that is it for today… can’t think of anything else right now… just a matter of getting through the weekend, as I know nothing is gonna happen until the beginning of the business week, so…

Sucks though this having to be as inactive as possible…  but, I guess that in it’s own way is a beneficial and good thing too, leading me to be contemplative and reflective, instead of my usual constantly needing and having to be doing something.  Again a way to better focus on the now, and opening my eyes to what is going on around me, with me.

We gain and learn more from our challenges, than we do our sunny days.  So, don’t be too downtrodden when faced with difficult and trying times… just keep your head up, eyes open, get through it as best as you can, holding onto you, who you are, and recognizing what it is you can use to grow from it all.

Here’s to the back, downhill side of now of this Slab Fast.  All the best to you all.

January 29th, 2017 / Day four of fast

I thought today I might be hitting a wall, as last night my body, brain, muscles seemed to ache more… but, no.  To my amazement, I really am doing quite fine and well.

I think the aches I was beginning to feel more of yesterday, may have been more aligned with dehydration than hunger.  So, thinking about it, I have increased my tea consumption by an extra cup or two a day, so that I am getting about half the daily recommended amount.

I never was a real fluid intaker in the first place, and rarely ever drank the recommended gallon of water/fluids a day, or even came close, I think, except in times of extreme working out, heat, and/or thirst.  Otherwise, I think I normally consumed about six, maybe seven glasses tops of fluids a day… with this increase, I’ll be around five glasses.

Since I know my refund will be arriving possibly tuesday, in two wonderful days, checking my water reserves, I can easily increase to the amount I will now drink and be perfectly fine on water until then.

Thinking about it yesterday too, I think that has helped me in this whole fasting thing also – the fact that I know I will be receiving the refund, according to them, by the 31st, tuesday.  Knowing, and being able to see an actual ending point and finish line with this all, I know has helped me immensely do all this, and relax… as opposed to not knowing when it would be arriving, increasing my stress levels and anxiety with it all.

I really am impressed with how I am doing and feeling after four days of only consuming tea and a tablespoon of honey each day… and more so with the human body’s ability to resistantly adapt and adjust to it all, than with me getting through it.  Only side effects from it all being the occasional lightheadedness or wooziness if I stand up too abruptly from having been squatting down or something… today probably had the worse incidence of it, as I was fiddlin’ around with the canopy over Burgey here, realigning the posts and tie-downs, where getting up, I staggered unsettlingly for several moments there, having to keep myself from toppling over, but then was okay.  Other than that, being the more easily chilled and cold… energy levels down, though really not as much as one, or I, would think… and those aches I spoke of earlier, though even now they have diminished pretty much.

Of course, am really hungry.  I honestly have been fantasizing about food, eating… just moments where I am sitting, or lying there, as I am showing in the photo to the right, where I just think about nothing more than simply consuming food… mmm, foood!

As can be seen in the photo, I certainly have lost a considerable amount of weight… which of course, is a no-brainer that I would.  I had already lost some in part one of this here journey o’ mine, and gained a little bit back during the refresh… and probably lost what I gained during part two here, especially these past couple weeks, starting with the one meal a day, to this no meals a day.

My clothes, literally hang on me, and when I got them early last Summer, I was actually happy that I finally had, for the first time in my life, gotten above a size 32 waist!  For a couple years, I would teeter-totter between comfortably wearing a 32, to 33… but, during my last stay in Omaha, I went to a solid 33, to comfortably being able to wear a 34 waist clothing, as I was also weighing the most I have ever weighed too, around 180 pounds… I’ve always hovered and fluctuated anywhere between 150 to 170 pounds.

Now, I think I am back to that lower end of the scale and around a hundred and fifty, soakin’ wet.  And don’t even think I am a 32 waist right now, but maybe closer to a 31.  I know that photo here of me looks like some Photoshop was possibly done to it to minimize my size… but, nope… that is my even skinnier little frame now.

Which, as I have said before, is alright.  It’s weight, and just as easily as I took it off, I can, and will, put it back on, so no biggie at all.  And honestly, I am kinda of glad for the weight loss, as before I left on this journey, I had me a gut for the first time in my life, that I wasn’t really fond of.  Wasn’t really much of a one, more like a little muffin top happenin’ there at my waist, but for one that has never had one in his life, wasn’t too keen in having it.

Okay, so well anyway, that’s pretty much it for today.  Ended up not doing yoga for the last three days, but that is not because of me, but wind, something else going on where the class is held yesterday, and the instructor just not doing it today, I guess.  Yesterday though, I sat outside my van here on the ground and did my own little yoga session, of relaxing my body, muscles, concentrating on my breathing.

So, hopefully things look to be on track tomorrow when I check on them, and tuesday still looking like when the refund will come.  And hopefully I continue to feel and be alright in my continued non-consuming of sustenance.  Guess will find out tomorrow.

January 30th, 2017 / Day five of fast

So, nothing further or new on the refund status, as of my writing this now in the afternoon… but, said until tomorrow, so hopefully so.

It’s not so much my hoping it does arrive within the next twenty-four hours for my eating sake, but really because stupid fucking Adobe and their stupid fucking subscription service to have their products (and their popping up every single usage whilst out here off the grid, that they can’t connect to their server… hey, wow, that’s great, thanks… your monthly subscription is paid, I can use you, now let me do my work, assholes!), instead of just outright owning them, is due tomorrow for me.  Albeit, it is only $10.60, but seeing as I only have 55¢ to my name… would save a big headache if the money was in my account before they go to draw from it tomorrow… which is hopefully later in the day than earlier.

Of course though, there is the wonderful aspect of my being able to eat food again too!  A part of me (I would venture to guess, the part of me that is hungry) is getting impatient with this whole not eating thing… Hello!  Hungry here!  Could really use some sustenance!  You know, in order to function!

Again though, am doing remarkably well, considering all that I have had is a tablespoon of honey and tea for the past five days.  Today, the low energy was being felt a bit more… but then, did have yoga class, which I was sort of concerned about being able to possibly not do fully… but by golly, it did it’s thing and introduced some energy into me, and again am feeling just fine.

Just keep fantasizing about tomorrow (hopefully) this time, and my ingesting food into my mouth and stomach!  I really just keep picturing myself bringing food to my mouth in order to eat… that will be ever so nice!  Have learned though, and can pass on to y’all, that one can get by with only sixty calories of honey a day, with four or five cups of tea… so, you know, keep that in mind whenever it may never come up.

This morning, I think I came up with a direction and route to head from here, in part three of my journey, which will begin on the 12th of February, two months to the date of my having arrived here in The Slabs for part two of my journey.  As I mentioned before, it will consist of heading north into California here… but now know where I’ll go after the Joshua Tree area that I was only sure of before.

From there, I’ll head up to Death Valley, then to the Sequoia National Park, and into the Sierra Nevada Mountains, up to Yosemite, then just skirt on all the way over tot the coast, north of San Fran, and follow the coast all the way up to Eureka, CA.

Why Eureka?  Just to do a solid for my younger self.  Pulling out the maps, maps which I have had since the late 80’s, I discovered in my youthful days of late teens – early twenties (yes, a quarter century ago), that I had created this whole list of, literally breaking down, state by state, factors of each state, and then ranking them in order as to preference that I would want to move to and live.

My criteria back then was pretty simple – whomever had the highest elevation (i.e. mountains), best overall weather, size, population, and there you go – who best fits the bill?  Wyoming, no surprise, was the preference winner, followed by it’s neighbor to the north Montana, then Alaska, and then back contiguous state side, with Wyoming’s neighbor to the east, South Dakota, and to round out the top five, Montana’s neighbor to the west, Idaho.  So, you can see that whole northwest, mountainous region (Oregon was sixth, Idaho’s neighbor to the west) being the area to concentrate on to me back then.

Oh, and that old newspaper clipping of tornadoes you see in the image here, was not to use as a deterrent to moving to a particular state, but a plus to my then wanting to do so… I’m weird in that sorta way… I like action, drama.

Anyway though, California ended up being 20th on the list, but for some reason, that I really don’t know why, looking at the map of California that I have, I had traced an entire route from north to south, so as to follow in checking out the state.  I really do not know now why I did that… I did it for no other state, why the heck did I do it for California?  Maybe my earlier self just sensed that perhaps, a quarter century plus later, I just might find myself here, and well, there I go – a way to go to check things out!

So, the route I described above of taking, pretty much follows that earlier laid out route made in my youth… though not nearly as extreme, I literally had me snaking and crisscrossing back and forth across the state on my way up (or down) it… yeah, as I wrote before, don’t have the funds for that… so, am going to do a little more direct way of going, that will end me up in the Eureka area.  Oh, which, I had just concluded back then, would be a nice ideal spot, right there along the coast to live… not too far from the Redwood forest, Trinity National Forest (I know the trinity part of that being a big influence, as I am like OCD weird with the number three), Klamath Mountain range, and the Cascades just beyond that… oh, and then of course, the whole Pacific Ocean right there to my west.  So, I don’t know… will just humor my younger self and at least check it out.

That’s about it for today…

Though, pondered something a little this morning… about a hundred yards away from me to the south, is my nearest neighbor, and yesterday, they had this dude over, who was there a great while, and I know, because the guy was a non-stop talker, as well as being a loud talker… even though the distance, I pretty much could clearly make out everything he was saying.  Really almost came to the point where I wanted to pull a Ross, and go over there and do the whole – say fellas, can you turn it down a notch?  Great, thanks!

Anyway, this morning as I was sitting here conserving energy, I here his voice again across the way, and roll my eyes… oh boy, here we go again.  And that just got me to thinking of that whiny-ass bitch journal entry I wrote recently, of my hanging out being alone stuff… and, you know – a very big reason I am also alone, is because, well, I really prefer it.

I guess I am just wired different, but like that guy to my neighbor’s, people just dropping on by to hang out – really?  O-kay, I guess…  I’m just not a hangout guy… I don’t need to hangout, be surrounded by somebody else or others.

And frankly, even though contrary to my always saying, and how I dread that I may come across as aloof in my preferring to be by myself, maybe I am just this stone cold pompous stuck-up asshole prick.  I don’t want to hangout… I don’t want to go hangout in some pub, or coffee shop, and just be there doing – ?  Just to be out, just to go do something… no, I’m good.  Sure to watch a game, movie, or go to either, or a stage play, symphony, shooting, okay, cool, fun… but to just hangout to just hangout… again, I’m good, thanks, and will pass.

So maybe I do put off that vibe of – yeah, so totally not interested in doing practically anything with you… and then at times have the gall to wonder why no one ever contacts me to do anything.

Again, maybe it’s just the way I am wired, and just am so used to from my life of being alone… I appreciate and value my alone time.  But guess, just selfishly sometimes when I would like the company of someone else there to be with, then hey – where is anybody?!

And as I have probably said before, really the someone else I would like that to be, being a woman, someone with whom I am in a relationship with, sharing life together.  Like, with Wendy, the only real relationship I consider my ever being in, I wanted to be with her every waking moment of every day… I was so happy and in love with her, and her with me, until I totally ruined it all by being me… so, I am not absolutely, completely, totally and utterly adverse to always being alone, and when the other person (or people) are right, I want to spend and be with them as much as possible in my life.  I guess, just outside of that, leave me to my own, please.

Anyway… just some aspects of myself that I was again pondering upon today.

So, hopefully tomorrow by this time, I have eaten food, and will be quite the jolly fella!

January 31st, 2017 / Day six of fast

Realized something yesterday afternoon, I had tweeted and posted a picture of these birds that lead me to smile, in how it is they look when they run, deeming them the squirrels of California to me… and I called them roadrunners, just assuming and thinking that was what they were.

Um, no.  Probably best to actually do some research of the actual facts there, son, before off and labeling something that it isn’t.  Anyway, they are a variety of California Valley Quail.  California Valley Quail, not roadrunners.

What led me to check, was of course, the Roadrunner and Coyote cartoons from my youth, and not really remembering the roadrunners little pompadour thing there on top, leaning forward… so looked up the roadrunner, and naturally along with came up photos of actual roadrunners, and my then, hmmm, well now they don’t look like the birds I am being amused by.  So, did a quick search of local birds, and found a shot of the bird that is, and there you go.  A little aviary trivia for ya’ there, for day six of the Slab Fast.

Last night, no change was being shown on the refund site, and the little marker still being the same as a couple days ago above, with it still in the middle stage of having been approved, but not sent.  And yes, got me to be just a little bit anxious, and began to think of what reasons the refund might be delayed.

Then remembered, that the online tax preparation service that I use, to pay for their services, I had them extract the payment from my refund, as I didn’t have enough to pay them upfront as I usually do with them.  And that brought a dark cloud over me… oh, no… what if it having to go through their hands first delays the timeframe that the IRS was giving me as to when to expect it.

So, did a good ol’ Google search (just a eatin’ away at that data on my phone) of what kind of delay to expect in this situation, and found the tax preparer’s own answer to it, saying that it could add an additional day to when one would receive their refund.

Argh.  Not that I originally wasn’t already plannin’ and thinkin’ it would be around the seven day mark or so… but, had really been hopin’ on the six day arrival of it as it stated in the last refund check as a date it should arrive.  Especially since I probably over-extended myself today with yoga class, as well as taking a two mile roundtrip hike yesterday evening at sunset, to do a shot to use as the cover photo for this Journal entry when I posted it… to wake tomorrow, and find that it looked like to be another day, I was really feelin’ a bit dejected.

That photo I took last night?  It’s the one that greeted you when this Journal entry loaded for you – I got my refund, baby!  Welcome to the flip side!

I woke up this morning, almost dreading to check incase it might not be there… first checked the refund status site, and saw that it was still in the second phase still, and I just came to settle upon the fact that I was going to have to holdout another day, hopefully, without eating.  But, then went straight to thinking of what else I was hoping it would arrive today for, stupid Adobe and their stupid subscription fee.

Me, being me though, even though having seen that lack of change on the status page, went and checked my bank account anyway… who knows, maybe my state refund will have possibly been deposited  in there already instead.

As soon as my account summary opened up, I just lay there as a wide smile spread across my face, and the sound of Handel’s Hallelujah sounded in the background.

So, yes folks, after six days of not eating, I have once again wonderfully consumed food.  And it was good.  Going into it, I also planned on being smart and not stuffing myself, as my stomach had probably shriveled up to the size of a walnut in the past couple weeks… but then couldn’t help it and downed it all… it was just so good to eat again.

So, all is good.  Have gone grocery shopping and got food for the coming two weeks, gassed up Burgey for the first time in almost a month and a half, and things are back to normal.

Would like to play up and milk the fast as being this ordeal and struggle, but really can’t, as you have read… I did remarkably well, even better than I ever thought I would.  Again, a testament more to the human body than me… the fact that it can continue to sustain us, even when we may not provide it the sustenance in order for it to do so.  I lived the past twelve days, the first six on only a bowl of cereal and a bagel, the last six with just a tablespoon of honey and tea, and aside from the obvious, incessant being hungry part, really was no serious struggle whatsoever.

That cover photo above, that I took last night, I chose to do the yoga meditative pose, as I wrote above, even though I ended up only doing the yoga class two of the six days, I think my doing so did aid in helping me get through with it’s principles… so thought I would use me in that position to just show the peaceful serenity I have pretty much been in, despite what I was putting my body through.

So, with this all in the rearview mirror, next ahead is moving on from The Slabs here, onto part three of my journey, which as I have said, plan to do on the 12th of February.  Not only because it would then be an even two months that I was here in The Slabs, but also to give my body twelve days of recovery time from the past twelve days, instead of hitting right out on the road after having done it.

So, so long Slab Fast.

no comments
Add a comment...

Your email is never published or shared. Required fields are marked *