March 9th, 2017

Fort Sutter

Well, now that I got the only photo that I have taken in the past week out of the way, now onto what it is this entry is going to be about, and that is dedicating it in reply to Richard, and his comment he left to my Journal entry from yesterday, so as to not make a mile long comment reply (though, I have had no problem doing it several times with Paul), Richard gets the distinction (again, this isn’t the first time I have done this) of having a whole entry devoted to continuing the conversation with him… just so I can quote and respond in my usual way that they are familiar with when we email each other.  So, onto it…

I have received about 17 notification for comments from Jeff and Paul about all kinds of photographs. It may be only the blurb of RSS, but I also have received notification for this post.

No, you must be conveniently subscribed to both my regular RSS feed (that shows updates to new entries), and the Comments RSS feed for when comments are left.  You two (you and Paul), have an annoying (personally, I find) way of where one needs to subscribe to each and every new post’s comments, in order to be updated of comments left… I just follow the lead of what Jacco has on his, where all comments, site wide, can be subscribed to and be updated of, when any are left… easy-peasy.

In certain moment you write that you failed and suddenly you said you haven’t because you didn’t put any effort towards the finding. Well, I don’t know this for sure. You did many huge things I never dared to do. Look at your great web page, you improved it greatly The front page is amazing.

Yeah, I’m a little bi-polar that way.  Most of the times I notice it myself, but other times, when I just get to a babblin’ and ramblin’, where I don’t even know for certain what I am saying, and others point it out for me, I just always have to smile at the sheer dichotomy of me… where I seriously, as of late, the thought of perhaps I am truly bi-polar pops into my head, to wonder if I really am.

I’ve just always seen it as who it is I am, as a person, and one who is always in the middle, and just always can see both sides to something … (even though I don’t believe in any of that astrology stuff, the fact that I am a Libra, represented by scales, balanced, I do have to say is spot on though) … as well as the fact that perspective is such a big thing to and with me… I always am constantly looking at everything from every angle, at the same time… to the confusion of people reading what I write!

Which may be one of my problems… why I am so unsure, unfocused – because I never just look and see things in one, narrow point of view way, but in a constant, multi-view way… and so that keeps me from being able to focus on just one thing, and just go out and tackle one thing, because even one thing is broken down into multiple aspects… and add that to doing it with each and everything…

You see, a lot of this, me, is personal… that no one else in the world would ever know about, sans those very close to me, if it weren’t for the fact that I chose to completely and openly share it with the world wide web – me, in all my failings and eccentricities.

Oh, and thank you for the comments on my re-done front page… which I find funny that I bothered to take the amount of time that I did to do it, when A) it’s not like I have massive traffic to my site, and only about a handful of the same people (now seeing that you do actually still come by and visit, Richard) being the ones who do, and y’all usually do so via RSS feed, or Twitter, to a direct entry, and don’t know what my homepage is like (frankly, I don’t know what any of y’all’s homepages are like! Except when I go to get your site’s URL so as to link to you on my site when I speak of you)… and B) Because on a more than regular basis, I debate shutting the whole site down.  But, thank you for your kind words on it… though after having it up now, and when I look at it, I seriously have to ask myself – “Narcissistic much there, Jeffrey?!” with it just being a photo of me in each and every slide!

The journey you did. I mean you are what more then 6 month on road. You did huge thing, very, very few people done that.

Yeah, because they have an ounce of sense in their heads!

So make money out of it so you can go on like this. Do not look at it as temporary thing, maybe this is what you love to do rest of your life.

No, no it’s not.

Where I have been shacking up (parking) here in my current locale of Sacramento, California, is aside this nice park, on the east side of downtown Sac (which honestly took me embarrassingly a couple times of seeing it, to realize that it’s what the natives here abbreviatingly refer to their city as), in this nice neighborhood, with these nice homes… and when I walk around the park (like practically everybody else in this city! Seriously, I have never seen such a devoted group of runners/walkers than I have seen around this park at ALL hours of the day!), look at these homes – that is what I want.  I want to someday have me a home, where I can call my own, grow a garden, have a nice place.  A home.  For once in my life – a place to call home… to just settle into and be happy.

When I was in Slab City, I honestly commented to myself, that it was most likely the only time in my life that I would ever have my own patch of land to call my own (which seriously, anyone who would choose to move and live there, currently could, scott free, build and make a home there, on whatever little part of the land in it that they could find and like to do so… until if, and whenever, the state of California finally decided to do something about the land, and again reclaim it, thus kicking all of the squatters who have been living on it for the past nearly half century).

And I have thought about it, and even have written of it, where say, if I had a full means to do so, like a nice camper/motorhome/RV to instead do it all in besides Burgey here, that I would never be seen again and this would be what I have always dreamed of doing my entire life, just traveling, exploring, visiting all areas and parts of this life/world (there I go being all bi-polarish again!).

On this journey though, when thinking like if I won the lottery or something, is this what I would do, would I do that?  And as time has passed on, more and more the answer has increasingly become – no.

Because it would be too selfish.  Only living for me.  I don’t feel that is what I am here for.  That’s why a part of me only chose to do this site, not to show off my saying “fuck it!”, and traveling all about, whilst everyone else does their 9 to 5 grind and routine… but, that side of me wanting to hopefully and possibly be of help to someone else who would happen upon my site and read it, in my wholly honest and transparent way of telling of how this journey of discovery is transpiring for and with me.

There’s that very big part of me, that’s been a very big part of me from the beginning, where my sense of meaning, purpose has always been to be there and help others.

Not gonna lie though, that part of me that would just love to just be this explorer and just for the sake of being able to do it, would just love to travel around the globe, experiencing, learning of, the places, people, in the lives, world they are in…

I really am just a mental case.

You complaining about life you have now on the road.

No, I am not complaining at all, and if it comes across that way, then I am just terrible at writing and conveying it.  I chose this.  I am doing all of this purposefully.  So why on earth would I complain about it?!  I am pathetic, but I am not a pathetic fool to do such a thing!  All I am doing is bluntly telling of the trials and tribulations of my purposefully decided upon choice to do all of this, and the honest consequences because of, that I have to deal with, because of.  That’s it.  Nothing more, nothing less.

On other hand you do have fear of becoming “the right” citizen money job/life prison. What if you look at your current way of life as the way to explore the world for other people. What if you forget about yourself and report about the world you have seen and will see to others.

Yeah, I don’t know.

You seems not to be sure about reason for you to be in this world. Wouldn’t that reason by exactly what are you doing now? Travelling, writing, photographing, sharing your most inner thoughts with us?

Well, that would be an odd thing to do. I don’t know… will just have to see how it all plays out

And later you write about conflict between the way you make money for the way of life you have now. Sort of conflict between way of making money (you hate the stupid money jobs) and freedom of travel.

I think this is not the truth. It seem to me that the only way to get your money, you see manual labour, something you hate to do for money.

I just, at this point, want to clarify again, not to you, Richard, per se, but to anyone who may ever actually happen upon this… – I am NOT adverse to work!  I am not just some slacker who just doesn’t want to work for a living… I work.  And a testament to that is my work history, where I have worked for places I loathed, doing stuff that didn’t interest me in the slightest, but was an ideal employee at all… up to, and including the last money job I had in the Autumn where after four days I was promoted to manage and run the entire business!

That is because I am NOT a slacker, but one who commits, devotes himself to what it is I am set to do, even if I despise it. Whomever hired me, hired me to do a job, and that is what I am there to do, whether I like it or not.  If I don’t, there is always the door.  So, until I use that door, and am there working, I damn well for sure better be doing my job, what I am being paid to be there for, the best that I can.  And I do.

So, I am not just someone who wants to coast through life without putting out any effort… I put in the effort, I work.  The problem lies in that I just can’t seem to find something, someplace, to work for, that is a fit for, to, and with me.

Anyway… back to our regular scheduled program…

Imagine that you would received money/support from people who would love to do what you are doing (travelling, writing, photographing). I believe that in such a state you wouldn’t hate the process of making the money.

Yeah, no.  Never gonna happen.

There are certainly huge amount of people who would support you.

No, I know my site’s analytics, there are the four of you, that’s it.  And even if there were more, no, never gonna happen.

I would! I believe you need to go where those people are (kickstarter,… or whatever places) they are not next to your camper. Go there show them what you have done, what you doing and what you can offer to them. And ask for money support.

You are very kind, Richard to offer to do that, as it is also the second time too that you have, and again, I find that very kind of you to offer to do so for me, and suggest my doing so.  But, it is never gonna happen.  It’s not anybody’s job to subsidize my life, my choices I have made in living it, and there is no way in hell that I would ever ask anybody to.

And honestly, that may just boil down to the fact that I don’t think anybody really truly fathoms and appreciates the fact that I cannot seem to emphasize enough – that I hate, loathe money.  I don’t care about, or for, it.  It means nothing to me.  But, I know it’s value, and what it is, and takes for one to acquire it.  And so am no way in bloody hell, going to ask someone else, who is doing whatever it is they are doing in their lives to acquire it, especially when I openly tell of how I do not want to do ANYTHING for it, have them do all the work and hand it on down and over to me to use.  Plain and simple – it’s not gonna happen.  Ever.

Heck, even in legitimate ways, I have Tim, the fourth, silent, visitor to my site, who tells that he, and a handful of other kind people, would like a print of my ‘Chimney Rock, Perigee Moon’ photo I took on this here journey o’ mine this past Autumn, to hang in their respective abodes… and he touts that it is photographic related way for me to attain some money!  But, that’s not gonna happen either, because I would just happily want to make and give the print to them… there is no way I would allow my friends to pay for something… I’ll do it for them, but I will not make a cent of profit, as I will only charge them the cost of getting it printed, and that’s it.

MONEY MEANS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO ME!!!  I can’t say it any clearer or simply.  l don’t care about it, and it has absolutely no value to me whatsoever.  To me, taking money from them for it, would be insulting.

For me to go on one of those funding sites, to ask others to fund the decisions and choices I have made in my life… that’s not anybody’s job to do.  And I don’t care if there are people out there who would actually possibly do it with their money… I would just say, that there are far better things for them to be spending their money on and investing in.

Again though, I do sincerely thank you, and gratefully appreciate you saying that you would do so, Richard.  It is very kind of you, and you offering is not lost with me.

At the end of you post you write about big part of you dying when you return to the way of life you had before the travel.Do you know how privileged you are? You know this before it even happen. Some people realize that when they are in that sense dead already and some never do!

We all make our own choices.  And we all have to deal with, live with, and own, those choices.  Others are free to do just as I have, they just have to do so.  Just because they haven’t means they value more what it is they say is the reason why they do not do it.

Again, since the beginning, people have made waaay too much more out of all of this than I have, stating similar to what you have, Richard… and I just have to continually disagree.  I just keep thinking of a line from a Springsteen song –

“… these days I’m feelin’ alright, ‘cept I can’t tell my courage from my desperation”

I’ve been told it’s courageous for me to do so, and that I got big balls for having done so… but, I see it more as me just grasping for straws… when you run out of any and every other choice, really doesn’t seem like courage then, now does it?

And that may be my fault in that I do occasionally get all bitchy and whiny about things, and I do apologize for that when I do… I know better, and sometimes even do when I am in the midst of my woeful pathetic wailing, that I am only going through this because I made me so.  Don’t like it?  I can just as easily change course, find me some job and place to settle and live the “normal life”.  Until then, Jeffrey, shut the fuck up and get over yourself.

Don’t stop, use what great you already did! Let other people to help you and show other people the way. Imagine there is somebody like you in his/her twenties who has no idea. Show them that it is possible!

I believe in you!

You’re a good man, Richard, and am glad that we crossed paths, oh so many years ago now, that I can’t remember when it was that we did, on some photo site eons ago… and also good to hear you drop a line here, after my thinking that you no longer even bothered to visit anymore, thank you for doing so.

I am seriously sitting here in one of the library branches in Sacramento, California, laughing at the line “…and show other people the way”…  Oh, man, that’s a good one!  I don’t even know the way, Richard!  I am making this all up as I go.  And the only one who has an idea, the only one who can know, find out what to do for themselves – is themselves!  I have no idea what it is they are searching, looking, longing for, wanting… and again, heck, I don’t even know anymore myself!  Only one who can be of help to them, is them.

Sure, sometimes it’s comforting to find and share that there are others out there who feel, think, share in the same things that we may, and that can always be helpful and nice.  But still, bottom line – we each gotta do what each gotta do in our own lives, that’s best for us, that works for us… that is – us.

Maybe that mentality or outlook is ill served with me though, and is just an offshoot to my having been alone my entire life, having to rely upon myself… ?  I don’t know… who knows.

Yes, and again, I know I am all over the place saying things… shooting down that idea of your’s, Richard, when just above, I say that I want to live a life where I am something to others, of help for, and to others…  I guess, I just don’t see this as being a, or the way… but again, me just trying to personally figure out what that way may be… publicly for the whole bloody world wide web to see!

God, I love kids.  Sitting here in the library, and around me, there are just kids, being kids… kids that skip, just instantly warm my heart!  Oh, hold onto, and be one, for as long as you can, sweet, little dear ones!  Don’t ever lose who it is you are right now!  For that is your true nature and soul – curious, playful, full of open-eyed promise, hope, wanting to know, see, explore, believing, trusting, full of joy, freedom.  Wrap that aspect of you up in a tight little ball, and plant it deep within you, so that when you get older, and this life/world tries to rip, strip everything out of you except what it says you only need to, and should be, and do, you can reach down within, embrace, and hold onto it tightly, and let it be your light in the darkness of it all.

And I guess, I will just close this with that positivity of youth … though again, I do see how I labeled life as this evil monster out to snatch the very life out of us… I really need to change that perspective, if I keep saying that I deep down don’t believe it, yet continually assign such attributes to Life.  Why do I do that?  Is it, that earlier explained, just my multi-faceted, perspective way of seeing all sides of things?  Or, what?  Though, when I am characterizing ‘life’ as this beast out to slay us, I am speaking of this life/world, not Life…  still…

Yeah, I gotta a lot that I am just trying to figure, and work out myself… not much help for and to someone else.  My best advice – find your own way.  And just feel free to stop on by here, and see how, and if, I may have found a way for myself.  I promise there’ll be photographs!

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  • richoMarch 10th, 2017 - 1:05 am

    You two (you and Paul), have an annoying (personally, I find) way of where one needs to subscribe to each and every new post’s comments to be updated of comments left

    I do not! I have IFTTT monitoring your two RSS feeds (posts and comments) and sending me email when it does change.

    that side of me wanting to hopefully and possibly be of help to someone else who would happen upon my site and read it, in my wholly honest and transparent way of telling of how this journey of discovery is transpiring for and with me.

    Interesting on one side you said it is too selfish to be living only for yourself, on other side you agree that your writing may be of a help to somebody.

    It’s not anybody’s job to subsidize my life, my choices I have made in living it, and there is no way in hell that I would ever ask anybody to.

    Don’t look at it as subsidy. Look at it as paying fro the job to show others the normal world. World without political propaganda, without marketing filters. isn’t that what you like to see yourself?

    There’s that very big part of me, that’s been a very big part of me from the beginning, where my sense of meaning, purpose has always been to be there and help others.

    Here you go!

    there is no way I would allow my friends to pay for something… I’ll do it for them, but I will not make a cent of profit, as I will only charge them the cost of getting it printed, and that’s it.

    Why don’t you look at it as we would hire you to do the job. Job of showing is the world. You will do honest work and get for it honest salary.

    I am NOT adverse to work! I am not just some slacker who just doesn’t want to work for a living… I work.

    I did not meant that you are. I wanted to say that you may enjoy more receiving funds to sustain your life in more enjoyable way.

    Oh, man, that’s a good one! I don’t even know the way, Richard!

    That is just your point of view. You surely may not feel and see your things the way others do. Why ignoring their view?ReplyCancel

    • JPHMarch 10th, 2017 - 2:41 pm

      Yeah, I don’t know why that is annoyingly that way with the comments… again, Jacco, probably because, by his own admission, has not updated his site in a hundred years, with the old way everything is set up and working cool, including being able to use code to format comments, and the previous told of RSS Comments feed… I thought perhaps it might be because I was enabling Jetpack’s commenting to be used, and was going to go in today and switch it off so that just the default WordPress commenting was being used… but apparently, WordPress default commenting is what is doing my comments, as Jetpack’s was not turned on… so, am gonna try turning on Jetpack’s, which allows people to sign on with their, Twitter, Facebook accounts, and see if that makes it any better.

      I do feel your pain though, the other day when I replied to Paul’s comments left with my photos, I was doing so from my phone, and each and every time I had to sign in to leave them – on my own bloody site! Again, Jacco’s I never have that problem, so whatever Jacco has done and has setup on his site, he needs to make sure he leaves all that alone, if possible. And as I have told you before, Richard, the same is with your site, at least I think it still may be, since you haven’t updated it in months, but have told you before, when you brought this issue up to me, that I have to go through the same with your site, and login each and every single time. Paul, it’s been awhile too, I can’t recall, but think your’s remembers me… but then again, maybe not, I really don’t pay attention, and again been awhile since I last have, so can’t remember.

      As for the rest, and your insistence of throwing your money away towards me… again, thank you, that is very, very kind, and again, the sheer thought that you would be willing to do that, is not lost with me, and am very grateful. Again though, I have to say there are far, far better, deserving, noble things for you to spend your good, hard earned money on and with, than my lifeless ass on the other side of the globe!

      Plus, as I wrote and how I see all angles of things, I don’t want a personal issue to arise, because say, you, or someone writing me saying, you know, why don’t you do more personal, emotive, creative work like this, or, you know,I would really like to see some photos of xyz… could you go get more photos of that? And since I just provided you the means to buy food and be able to eat this month, I think you can go shoot this for me, right, whore? Don’t you agree that’s fair, my little photo bitch?

      I don’t even want that possible path to be in front of me, of feeling, or needing to be, obligated to sponsors, and my work needing to less of me, and more of what they perhaps may want to see more of, because they’re funding/paying me. That’s why I don’t do my photography professionally anymore… my photography is mine, and mine alone… for me, and me alone.

      Not saying that you would do that… but again, just don’t want to even make the possibility of a conflict of interests to arise. To me, it is not worth it. And again, I for one wouldn’t even fund me! There are far more deserving people, entities, organizations, where financial assistance and funding are waaay more deserving and suited for money being thrown at. I am not one of them. I am just a man trying to find his way.

      Sincerely though, I warmly appreciate, and thank you for the offer and suggestion… it is truly very kind of you, thank you.

      And I know that you were not meaning to insinuate anything with my work ethic… I just, even more so now, with what I am currently doing, and already looking like this possible oaf, slacker, who is doing all that he is, whilst everyone else is “working for a living”… I just bristle at that notion… and want to dispel any prospect of it, or I, appearing that way. So, like I said, it wasn’t directed towards you, just me saying it aloud to all the non-existing others who don’t visit my site, but perhaps might at some point.

      Oh, man, that’s a good one! I don’t even know the way, Richard!

      That is just your point of view. You surely may not feel and see your things the way others do. Why ignoring their view?

      Because my life is not to think about what others’ viewpoint is. Again, not to just come off sounding like a cold hearted, selfish bastard… but, I have enough on my plate, dealing with, and trying to figure out my life, I don’t need to concern myself with whatever whoever is thinking, looking for, wanting, in and with me, my life, my work…

      Okay, maybe I’m being a tad over defensive over something totally not even being suggested… it’s just my photography is my last and only bastion that I have that is for me, that keeps me sane, alive… and just any notion of that being lost… I shudder to think of a, my, life without it being what it is all to me… so, coil and strike I guess at even the slightest notion of it possibly being so.

      I will say this, and throw this out there, Richard… you years ago, off and on, had brought up the notion of a collaboration of some kind, of us photographers… to which I also shied away from, as it being something that I was not entirely too keen on… I can’t really recall the reason why I was not, as it has been awhile… but, think it may have just been along the lines of not seeing any practical purpose, use in doing so… and maybe even that whole my ‘photography is my own’ stance again…

      Upon further reflection upon it lately though, I think I may be up to discussing it further with you. In conversation with Paul, I, and he, have discussed, the needing and wanting to try and find some creative spark for us individually, in and with our photography… and that led me, to think of just doing things that may help ignite that.

      Now, I don’t recall really any of the particulars of what it was you were all thinking with it all… my thinking being, that we would decide upon some themes, subjects for us to go shoot, and we each would go out and create our own images to those particular subjects/themes, and then upon completion, we would all share them… is that in the ballpark?

      If that is something that you still have kicked around in the back of your head as of late, well, just know that I am more receptive to it now than I never really was before… and perhaps engaging in such an endeavor I might find fruitful and something that I would welcome to do and be a part of.ReplyCancel

      • richoMarch 12th, 2017 - 12:36 am

        I always thought if more of us, you, Paul, Jacco, would be publishing at one site, we may attract more people. Also our views and photography is so different, that I would love to see what happen. I was never in favor of having competitions or even planned themas.ReplyCancel

        • JPHMarch 12th, 2017 - 8:21 am

          Oh… hm… well, anyway…

          And, god no! Didn’t say, or think of, us participating in it as being in some form of competition! Yeah, if it was that, neither one of us would definitely touch that aspect with a ten foot pole!

          And, Richard – most likely a reason why you are not recognized each time you kindly go to leave a comment, is because you keep randomly switching out your email address, and putting a different URL in the website… when I saw I had to bloody go in and approve this last comment of your’s, it was WTF? Why?! Only to see you keep alternating between your two websites, and in the website field, using it to direct anybody who would click on it, to a different part of your different websites… which is kinda clever and smart, but, also is what it is making it question you.

          Anyway… all the best to you, and happy shooting! < -- I hope you are still at least doing that for yourselfReplyCancel

          • Paul PolitisMarch 12th, 2017 - 12:44 pm

            Hey guys,
            I don’t know if I’m so interested in websites these days, but I maybe could maybe be interested in a collaboration on something that actually exists in the real world, like a Blurb book or something. Richo, I think (but I may be mis-remembering) that you  and I may have talked about something like this in the past, years ago?  These books can be expensive to print, though, so I’m currently investigating their magazines to see what the quality is like.
            Re: the linking to different parts of your site in your comments.  Not much point in doing that since all comments on modern websites get a “nofollow” tacked onto them ==> so no juice in Google SERPs.  I guess there could be some minor value on high traffic websites on the off-chance that a human clicks on them.ReplyCancel

            • JPHMarch 12th, 2017 - 7:21 pm

              I don’t know if I’m so interested in websites these days

              Yeah, it seems we’re all in the phase as of late.

              I guess there could be some minor value on high traffic websites

              What are ya’ tryin’ to say, Paul? Four doesn’t qualify for high traffic?! X-D

            • richoMarch 13th, 2017 - 12:53 am

              What I have meant was sort of on-line publication we all would be authors. Something clean, without trying to get into google game.That was BTW also not reason to put different URL into comment thing. I just do not remember what I typed last time. Browser doesn’t (cookies out) so that is why. Browser offers me few things I typed before so I choose.

  • richoMarch 13th, 2017 - 12:54 am

    I am tired of making plans. I just like to do something and it is only very lonely to do it on one own.ReplyCancel

    • PaulMarch 13th, 2017 - 7:02 am

      For me right now it’s more about creating something tangible, not getting my work in front of other people … like you said, the “google game”.  An online publication is not much different than a website in that regard … it’s still just pixels.  Anyone interested in anything like that at this point?  I’m not talking about something we would distribute or whatever (to who?) … just something we can make that’s our own.ReplyCancel

      • richoMarch 13th, 2017 - 7:08 am

        I still like to connect with other people, have fruitful discussions. How would you do that without internet?ReplyCancel

        • Paul PolitisMarch 13th, 2017 - 8:33 am

          Haha, I guess we are all looking for different things right now.  I think these are things I need to do on my own anyway, I probably shouldn’t have suggested it.  One day, somehow, we’ll be on the same page and so something together hahaReplyCancel

      • richoMarch 17th, 2017 - 12:20 am

        This is actually quite interesting. Why to create if not for sharing? What I mean, even I made huge amount of prints, just for myself, they belongs to the wall. There anybody can see them. Could you, Paul, tell me, where that need of not getting your work in front of other people, comes from?
        Thanks -r-ReplyCancel

        • paulMarch 17th, 2017 - 7:13 am

          It’s not a ‘need not to get in front of people’, so much as a pragmatic realization that we won’t likely get it in front of many people, based on considerable past experience, and nobody will give a shit, based on considerable past experience.

          That’s not such a big deal to me, but it has shown me that I prefer to cultivate in myself a joy in creating art just for myself, which is, frankly, the most important reason that I have always done it. Creativity is, for me, about exploring the world and myself.

          The times in my life that I have had attention to my work have not really made me enjoy the work more or made me happier. What makes me happy is when I am producing work, as i have been these past months. I prefer not to set myself up for disappointments or expend any of my finite energy chasing an elusive ‘audience’. For me, it is self-defeating. To each his own.

          To say ‘why to create if not share’ illustrates that we both have a fundamentally different need for creating art. For me it is about the creating, that’s by far the most important thing to me. Neither approach (mine or yours) is wrong, just very different reasons. So we will both necessarily have different things that encourage us to make art and discourage us from making art. I wish to focus all my energy only on that which encourages me to make art, and absolutely no energy on that which doesn’t.

          Besides, it seemed to me that a collaboration involved other other people by deafault: the collaborators themselves.  The ‘audience’ is built into the process.ReplyCancel

          • richoMarch 17th, 2017 - 7:37 am

            What I have meant is that by explicitly saying you do not want to make it for others to see, you also excluded certain media/materials which may be connected to that sharing.

            I for example like very much typography and interactivity of certain web based presentations. I like it much more then passive digital image on my screen and sometimes even more then print.

            I feel and I may be incorrect, that you do not want to use any tools/technologies creating tangible item and by that excluding, for example the one I just mentioned above.

            Some time ago I started to work on frame which could be programmed to light from back certain parts of print. Result would be that black and white image on paper would be lit from back in different places with different intensity. This would give sort of glow view when look at it in dark room. All that for creating certain experience for the viewer. I would love to go one with it.

            I also always wanted to create some bigger body of work which would transfer certain emotions to the viewer. I am not after “nice”, “good work” from anonymous viewer. I am after be able to share with other human being.


  • JPHMarch 13th, 2017 - 10:11 am

    Well, if anything, at least I feel more at ease that I am not the only one who is “all over the place” with things, as it seems we all are. X-D

    I see where you both are coming from though, as we do all have the same end game, objective that we are wanting to create, have. I’ll toss my thoughts out there, in light of reading what you two have been commenting about –

    As for a “tangible” printed created thing, I like that, but, frustratingly, right now, because of my current state of affairs, I am just not now in a position to effectively and productively do that. Just as I wrote of Tim, that he, and a handful of others would like my ‘Chimney Rock, Perigee Moon’ printed to have, that’s what I told him – that I am just not currently in a position to be able to do it for them all, as getting it printed, and printed satisfactorily, well, and to my standards, I would need to proof it, and since my now almost five year old laptop here’s graphic card(s) are giving out and unable to work with my NEC photo calibrated monitor, and would have to do so like I have been left with editing my photos – off of my flippin’ laptop screen… also, it’s not like I would be printing it on my Epson photo printer, but these I would want to be printed professionally, needing a color/paper/printer profile, and who knows how many prints needing to be made to quality check, and the cost for doing so… yeah, I am just nowhere in a position to do that.

    And so the same would be on a book/magazine print job, I wouldn’t want mine to come out subpar, and not to the quality standards that I, and we, would all want are work to be presented and seen, because I am not capably equipped right now to do so.

    So, that’s my thoughts on that as of now with me… but that is not saying that I still wouldn’t be interested in doing such a project… and that we still could work on such a one, even the printed one… I mean, it’s 2017, and I see advertised, and read about, all these collaborative, cloud based programs, where we all could work together on a project of this kind, and like, in almost real time, if someone adds, or changes something, we all can see on our end… so we could do and use something like that, where we are working on something like this together… and, still either one of us having the then capability, if one of use likes what they have perhaps cohesively put together, it’s all formatted and ready to go for them to send their part off to be printed into something…

    Or, to maybe do it in online form, some external, third party place, site, etc., that we could do it… like you have had longer, and more experience on and with Tumblr, Paul, is there a way where an account can be set up privately, so that it could just be for us to see? (Then again, we could do it on one of our respective sites, and still pretty much essentially be private and just for us! X-D ) Or maybe something like Steller < -- (that was a link too, by the way), I've had that app on my phone for like forever, as I like it's premise of a little, book like format of being able to do these mini stories... but, just have never yet utilized it.

    And of course, also see Richard’s point of view of the online aspect, so as to have fruitful discussions… which is of course, the only reason TLJ was created and exists, in my hopes that there would have been this somehow connection between I and fellow journeyman, travelers, where sharing of our life experiences would be had… and not like it only is, and me just whiny ass bitchin’ to no one (presented company, again appreciatively excluded).

    As I said, we all know where we’re each individually coming from, and wanting to head, if again, all over the place in the means in which to do so presently… But, there are some possible additional suggestions to perhaps ponder.

    One reason, Richard, of my current possible interest in what I thought you had meant with the whole collaboration thing, was of my writing that I perhaps need a little fire lit beneath my ass to spark my creativity… something Paul and I have been discussing as wanting to find and have in our lives, work, and am sure you too.

    And mentioned to Paul, how I use to look down upon and scoff at those little photo assignment like things you’d see at the beginning of a new year, or on photo related sites, magazines, forums… of like every day, or week, being a different assignment, project to go out and shoot… like, something that contains a specific color, or an animal, whatever and what have you… And as I said, I used to think those silly, little things for photo novice fun… but, can see how they could possibly be beneficial, in that it gets one out shooting, doing things, and trying to see and find something creatively in whatever it they are looking to photograph for a particular assignment.

    That’s what made me think of what it may have been you had brought up to us, oh so long ago… and if it was something along the lines of just the group of us just thinking of like sone subject matter, or themes, to go out and individually, in our own creative way, take photos that we see in whatever the subject, theme may be, and then in the end, putting them all together so as seen in a body of collaborative put together form, be it a book, online, whatever.

    Maybe it’s just something I’ll try to use on my own, and like hop online and find different lists of things like that, and go through them, and any that look interesting to do, will jot down the ones that do, make my own list, and do the assignment, projects, as just a way to perhaps spark something creatively on my end for myself.

    Just in a closing, curiosity thing here – since I didn’t need to approve any comments this last round, how did the whole process work for you this time on your end? Did my clicking on the Jetpack version of commenting do anything, help, on your end in being more easily able to do so?

    Anyway… all the best to you two, and thanks for the discussions had on here lately. All the best, and happy shooting!ReplyCancel

  • JPHMarch 17th, 2017 - 11:13 am

    Okay, hi, y’all… Other side of the globe time difference, woke up to this continued conversation just a little bit ago…

    Richard, I am curious of these presentations you speak of, that involve typography and such, do you have some links to illustrate what you are finding neat?

    And I may be wrong, but I think that there is just like a confusion between you and Paul… from my understanding, Paul doesn’t want to share of his work at all right now, for just personal reasons of being able to solely focus on the creation part… and to then, at a later date, after having done the creating, reflecting upon, and editing it to what he sees and wants, then yes, presenting and sharing it at that point… while, to me, like you’re thinking he doesn’t want to explore different ways of presenting and sharing his work… while that is just something he simply is not currently looking to do, but when he is, would be possibly then interested and open to different ideas and ways of doing so… again though, that is just me and the way that I am taking from the discussions had.

    And, find that very interesting that you have been working on this frame thing… o-kay… you really are thinking a lot more, or different than I think either I, or Paul, am, and may be… I don’t think of stuff like that at all… I am just straightforward, my work being the presentation on it’s own, not the presentation being the show, kind of thing, or a part of it. I have to admit, I was honestly surprised to read that… didn’t know that you are thinking so much broader now in what, and how, you want to do your work, what you want it to be… interesting.ReplyCancel

    • richoMarch 17th, 2017 - 1:00 pm

      I think Jeff that you are not completely correct. I think Paul (please do correct me Paul) would like to avoid doing things which are not connected with creating.

      It often happend to me that even I intended to create something, I spent more time on tuning web, SEO, and all that rubbish, rather then creating something meaningful. At the end I was angry with myself.

      I think that is what Paul like avoid, rather then sharing work itself. I am sure once there is something one is proud to created, one would like to show it others. But yes, I may be wrong.

      In any case, why do you think I put no image for over six month online? I know that I asked you to have one common site for all of us to publish our things. It certainly is fine to be able to discuss between friends, ideas and show some progress, rather then to anonymous universe. If you were here, I would just talk to you over beer in sunny spring garden 😉

      And maybe I will be silent again and come back when I have something to show.


      • PaulMarch 17th, 2017 - 3:47 pm

        Richo, if you wish, we can continue this conversation by email, out of respect for Jeff and his website which really has a very specific purpose and focus, and it isn’t to drum up collaborations with our sorry asses, haha. I don’t want to use his comment section as our discussion forum 🙂

        But, yes, I am focused only on creating at this point in my life, perhaps down the road I may want to pursue displaying my work in a more public way. But I have my website and that’s enough right now.

        My apologies, because I brought up the whole magazine collaboration thing but realized quickly after posting it that a collaboration is not what I need right now in my life, so I apologize for that.

        Richo, send me an email if you wish to discuss further, or whatever …you’re always welcome to email me for whatever reason, of course!ReplyCancel

  • JPHMarch 17th, 2017 - 4:34 pm

    Curiously, I find see this whole internet thing, both good and not so good… good in that, here, I have found, and am able to connect and communicate with, good gentleman, just as yourselves, who live in places I have not had the fortune to visit (yet, hopefully)… but, because of this world wide web thing, have been able to, and I for one feel I have benefited from it.

    Not so good, in that our interaction is limited to written digital correspondence, and not like you suggested, Richard, and the preferred just being able to meet up at a local cafe, tea house, backyard, and shoot the shit, talk about things, have discussions on this and that…

    I, of course, don’t object to a discussion being held on my site here at all… though, this one may have run it’s course, as it has been discovered, that the three of us, currently just are not at the same place right now in feeling able to collaborate on a shared project… and so now it just feels like we’re beating a dead horse on the subject, right now, at least.

    The seed has been planted though, and time will tell if it will come to bear fruit for us… and know, that if and when we may, and do, it will be something to look forward to and be a part of, with two talented fellow photographers, and good gentleman, such as yourselves.ReplyCancel